I want to give a shout of thanks out to Bike Hugger who saved me from writers block in penning my weekly diatribe against stupid products. I was having a hard time figuring out what to write about this week, so I took up surfing all my favorite sites to delay the inevitable and came across this week’s nominee.
The Bergmönch is a new German folding, downhill scooter. The Germans are not generally known for their silly products, and I’m hoping that they are not planning on joining the Japanese in offering a New Axis of Stupid Consumerism. No word yet on where the Italians stand on this, but I’m suspicious that they may be joining the Axis.
There are several things that bother me about this product. My biggest gripe is that it is a unitasker, a bike with no peddles designed to do one thing: go down hill. Now, I know going down hill is fun, but do we really need a bike that does only that? Bike Hugger points out that even at that, the Bergmönch’s use would be limited as its small wheels and small suspension would make it a menace on anything but fire trails. Not only that, but I’ve got to say I’m not real excited about bombing off road down a mountain on bike held together by straps and quick release skewers. Most club riders I know can barely handle the quick release on their wheels, let alone a key piece of structural strength.
Bergmönch is German for mountain monk, and the makers of this Teutonic terror try to play with the name in the video above. The ad itself moves is painfully slow moving, so much so that I was expecting a man with an axe to jump out and break the tedium. Alas, no such Jason appeared. In the ad, a monk prays in church comparing the coming of the Bergmönch to the second coming. My Revelation is a little rusty, but I don’t think the Whore of Babylon was riding a seven headed Bergmönch. Although, if it were being used for whoring and bringing on Armageddon at least it wouldn’t be a unitasker.
Buddy Jesus gives the Bergmönch thumbs up!
Enjoy your weekend, and get out and ride your bike.
Read the previous week’s Dumbest Product of the Week.
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